Moving in with someone is a big deal, whether you know them ahead of time or not. If you’re moving in with a friend, you could risk the friendship if things go south. And if you don’t know your new roomie beforehand, you could be setting yourself up for a world of frustration.
That’s why there are some essential questions you should always ask a potential living partner before signing a lease.
Go Beyond the Ad
These days, many potential roommates describe themselves as “clean, organized and quiet” on social media, websites and apps. But are they really? Or are they just writing the standard expectation? Most people in the roommate market want to live with someone who takes responsibility, washes their dishes and doesn’t turn their room into a mini nightclub three nights a week.
Ads are a great place to start, but they should only be your first point of contact. Set up a phone or Zoom call for an initial meet-and-greet, and if that goes well, consider meeting for a coffee or quick bite. You’ll want to get a feel for your potential roommate on at least two or three occasions to ensure you’re a good fit.
Meanwhile, if you’re writing an ad, get creative. Highlight specific traits you hope to find in a roommate. Are you a reader? Adventurous cook? Likely to get up early on the weekends for a hike? Or perhaps you’re a gamer who likes to have late-night sessions. The more authentic you can be, the more likely you’ll find the right roommate.
Ask Important Questions
You’re going to potentially live with this person, so it’s essential to ask important questions and not be shy about it. Ask open-ended questions that don’t guide their responses; that way, you know they’re genuine and not just saying what they think you want to hear. Make notes as you go and invite them to do the same. After all, you both need to be compatible!
The main things you’ll want to investigate include cleaning routines, schedules, guests, habits, finances and overall space philosophies. Pets, relationships and sleepovers, daily routines, bill splitting, cooking habits, allergies, driving, drinking, smoking and past living situations are also important topics to consider.
Another big and often overlooked question is how much stuff your potential roommate has. If you’re looking for a space to share, you’ll want to ensure there’s room for both of your things.
Related: You’re Not Throwing Your Money Away by Renting – Here’s Why
Be Honest With Yourself
When putting together your list of questions, think about things that matter to you and what you’ll be okay with compromising on if your roommate’s preferences don’t align. For example, if you’re a light sleeper, you’ll probably want to know when they leave for school or work and about their morning routine. If you’re a night owl and the other person is a morning go-getter, odds are you’ll disturb each other’s sleep more often than not. If rooming with that person could affect your sleep quality or other important lifestyle factors, it’s probably not a match made in heaven.
You may not care if dishes sit in the sink for an extra night or if you do most of the cooking, though, and you’d be willing to live with that. Be honest with yourself, list your deal breakers, and consider what you need to live happily with another person. Then, when you find someone you’re considering signing a lease with, ask them to do the same to ensure you’re both truly in alignment.
Related: Why Are Rents Dropping in Canada?
Watch Out for Red Flags
When chatting up potential roommates, there are some red flags to watch out for. Control issues, a lack of transparency, someone who parties a lot and a lack of boundaries are things you can look out for during those initial conversations.
Don’t be afraid to ask whether they’ve had previous roommates and how that situation played out. Someone who always wants to gossip about what happened in the past might not be the most trustworthy person for you.
Set Expectations
Another key thing to ask anyone you’re considering living with is what they expect from your relationship. If you really enjoy your personal space, maybe you don’t want a new BFF. So, if the person you’re considering is looking for that kind of a roommate relationship, it probably won’t work out.
When you match someone well, it’s time to put together a list of expectations that both of you can agree on. You don’t have to make anything official, like a Roommate Agreement, but talk through your roles and responsibilities in the home, how you will handle any potential conflicts, and how you each prefer to communicate.
If you hate confrontation, maybe you’ll want to write a note about something that’s bothering you or schedule a coffee chat. However you decide to communicate, it’s important to keep the conversations going — even when things are going well!
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