20 Signs You’re a Terrible Host

A host should be responsible for introducing guests to other guests they may not know. Bringing people into your home and then having them awkwardly introduce themselves is bad form and increases the likelihood that less-gregarious guests will keep to themselves and have a terrible time.

“Never let ’em see you sweat.” Sure, it’s an old tagline from an underarm deodorant commercial, but it also applies to hosting a party. If guests see that you’re completely stressed out and overwhelmed by having a few people over, they’re going to feel similarly stressed. Neither you nor they will have any fun, and a lousy night is guaranteed for all. Even if you do feel stressed out, it’s incumbent on you to try to hide it from guests so they can loosen up, relax and have a good time; who knows, you might just end up doing the same.

A good host knows that it’s key to keep the libations flowing. And if offering guests drinks and refills seems like too big a task, enlist a family member to take on that responsibility – or spend a few bucks and hire a bartender. Most guests – especially the polite ones – may feel reluctant to serve themselves drinks, so it’s your job as host to ensure that having a cocktail or two doesn’t feel like an imposition.

Temperature is an important aspect of a party’s enjoyment factor, yet it’s something that few of us actually focus on. Yet we should; a party that’s too warm is going to make people feel groggy, while an environment that’s too cold will leave guests feeling chilly and uncomfortable. When it comes to your thermostat, use the “Goldilocks principle” and make sure you come up with a temperature that’s just right.

Unless your goal is to send guests scurrying to the door, don’t start washing dishes and tidying up while guests are enjoying themselves. A good host will focus on the guests’ enjoyment and save cleaning things up until after everybody’s left.

If guests see you constantly checking your watch throughout the evening, they will feel like they’re imposing and are likely to beat a hasty exit. Ignore your watch (heck, put it in a drawer for the evening if you’re that compulsive), and let the party flow without thinking about what time it is.

One of the most basic things a good host will do is clean up the place before guests arrive. Stepping into a  cluttered home will likely make guests come up with excuses for why they need to leave immediately. Be sure to also prep your guest room for any last-minute overnight requests.

Nothing says “party’s over!” louder and clearer than running out of liquor. Stocking up on beer, wine and whatever other adult beverages you plan to serve unless you plan to have your party come to a grinding halt mid-way through the evening.

If you’ve slaved away creating tastebud-tempting appetizers and hors d’oeuvres for guests but place them on a table and expect guests to eat, you’ve only gone halfway to the finish line. Take a few moments to walk around and offer food to guests, who are likely to feel self-conscious about grabbing food when nobody else does. We’ve all witnessed the party scenario wherein a plate of delicious hors d’oeuvres sit untouched amidst a group of hungry guests because nobody wants to be the first one to take a bite. Not only will offering food encourage guests to eat the food you prepared, but it will also help you circulate and grab some face time with each guest.

Guests will be encouraged to have a good time if they see you having a good time – just not too good a time. A good host should be the master of ceremonies at a party, keeping the good times flowing while ensuring everyone is enjoying themselves, which is tough to do when you’re three sheets to the wind yourself. Drinking too much while hosting a soiree is a mistake you don’t want to make.

Inviting guests to a party and then asking them to chip in a couple of bucks to pay for food and booze is the epitome of tackiness – but a great way to ensure that nobody will show up the next time you ask people over.

A good host will ensure there’s plenty of seating for guests, but having too many chairs cluttering up a space is as much of a party faux pas as not having enough. In fact, if you’re hosting a cocktail party it’s a good idea to have fewer chairs than guests, which will ensure that people are forced get up and mingle as opposed to staying planted in one spot all night.

Of course you love your pets, but don’t assume your guests feel the same way. What if they’re allergic, or simply not comfortable with animals roaming around underfoot? A good host will confine dogs and cats to a locked-off room, or make arrangements for them to stay with someone else on the night of the big bash, thereby eliminating one potential problem that doesn’t even occur to many pet-owners.

Music at a party should be an element that enhances everyone’s enjoyment, not something that steals focus. Unless your party plans include dancing, then keep the music at a level that’s loud enough to be heard in the background yet soft enough that guests don’t need to yell over it in order to be heard. Even worse is having no music at all, which can result in an eerie silence whenever conversation lulls. The type of music is also a factor, which is why streaming services such as Apple Music and Spotify offer an array of playlists in various genres specifically geared to whatever type of party you have planned; if making musical playlists isn’t your thing, pick one and play it.

A good host will have more food on hand than guests can possibly eat, not vice-versa. Hungry people drinking on an empty stomach is a bad combination. If you ever see your party guests huddling together and discussing what kind of pizza they’re about to order, that’s a pretty solid indication that you missed the mark.

Smartphone addiction is an actual thing, so no judgement. But if you’re one of those types who obsessively checks emails, texts, news headlines and the like, you’ll want to ditch the phone for the evening and keep your focus on your guests. If guests see you constantly checking your phone all night, don’t be surprised to hear the phrase, “Is it 8:30 already? We’ve gotta get going…” A host who stays on a cell phone all night is a guaranteed party-killer

A little self-deprecation can be a good thing, but if you spend all night apologizing for wine that’s not as chilled as it should have been or food that’s not as hot as you would have liked it, you’ll be drawing the focus to negative aspects your guests probably didn’t even notice – until you made them notice. Don’t apologize, and don’t ask if guests are having a good time – even if they aren’t, do you really think they’d tell you?

A good host knows that it’s key to keep the libations flowing. And if offering guests drinks and refills seems like too big a task, enlist a family member to take on that responsibility – or spend a few bucks and hire a bartender. Most guests – especially the polite ones – may feel reluctant to serve themselves drinks, so it’s your job as host to ensure that having a cocktail or two doesn’t feel like an imposition.

On the flip side of a host who has too much fun at a party is a host who is clearly not having any fun at all, making it painfully obvious to guests that you’re not thrilled about having to cater to their every whim. Chill out, lighten up and treat your guests like, well, guests. Remember, you invited these people; it’s your job to make them feel welcome (even if you need to pretend).

If you’re running around shifting coasters beneath people’s drinks and vacuuming up crumbs that spill from a plate, your guests are going to feel hemmed-in and inhibited – not exactly the vibe you want at a party. Even if you’re a grade-A neat freak, curb those impulses and focus on your guests’ enjoyment, not on how much they’re messing up your living room.